just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
