I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When are your genitals available?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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