Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize