So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
