I molested 6 butterflies tonight
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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