she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You took a bar mat shot.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize