We're like a lot better than the average bears
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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