Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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