i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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