spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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