I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize