Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
