i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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