I don't remember. Are we still dating?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
