Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It's just like the Real World with babies
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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