I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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