this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect