i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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