i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
