I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
