Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.

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  (949): Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old (503): You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24. http://tfl.nu/2eqo
  Replies (7) Good night (693) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?

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  (513): Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude? http://tfl.nu/2xw8
  Replies (13) Good night (501) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.

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  (419): take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball. http://tfl.nu/c4b7
  Replies (11) Good night (1797) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.

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  (702): Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar? (1-702): You told us you forgot how, and started to cry. http://tfl.nu/t675
  Replies (54) Good night (1982) Bad night (7517)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex

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  (352): I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex http://tfl.nu/73ql
  Replies (13) Good night (791) Bad night (3863)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories

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  (605): I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories http://tfl.nu/0d8y
  Replies (14) Good night (4682) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.

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  (832): Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house. http://tfl.nu/g0ik
  Replies (13) Good night (7234) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Wasn't he an English major?

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  (703): He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him. (1-703): Wasn't he an English major? http://tfl.nu/vbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (1123) Bad night (4937)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out

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  (239): they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out http://tfl.nu/ncls
  Replies (2) Good night (3622) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.

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  (337): I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven. http://tfl.nu/stao
  Replies (4) Good night (3844) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

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  (+44): She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name http://tfl.nu/1k1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3259) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.

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  (209): Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid. http://tfl.nu/85w7
  Replies (8) Good night (2167) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.

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  (479): He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/fwy9
  Replies (7) Good night (588) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.

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  (503): Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her. http://tfl.nu/s4rs
  Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Damnit.

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  (832): If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning (1-832): Damnit. http://tfl.nu/shac
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (287)

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