We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The struggles of a small town man whore
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum