Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.

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(804): remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt. http://tfl.nu/2ukp

Replies (9) Good night (902) Bad night (3486)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!

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(402): I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em! http://tfl.nu/ru3y

Replies (13) Good night (807) Bad night (5857)
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(703): View more from Virginia

okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?

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(703): okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar. (1-703): I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up? http://tfl.nu/a4zj

Replies (55) Good night (12206) Bad night (1280)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree

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(215): i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree http://tfl.nu/vm1y

Replies (2) Good night (1636) Bad night (979)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.

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(802): I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place. http://tfl.nu/5u6t

Replies (2) Good night (1136) Bad night (638)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.

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(812): I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can. http://tfl.nu/gz33

Replies (24) Good night (812) Bad night (1722)
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(519): View more from Ontario

my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off

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(519): my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off http://tfl.nu/nyl9

Replies (9) Good night (3041) Bad night (583)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted

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(403): I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted http://tfl.nu/dgp6

Replies (7) Good night (951) Bad night (584)
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(530): View more from California

Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.

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(530): Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life. http://tfl.nu/z2vn

Replies (6) Good night (1973) Bad night (698)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him

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(484): you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him http://tfl.nu/re5m

Replies (1) Good night (977) Bad night (454)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

(901): View more from Tennessee

But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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(901): I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes. (901): But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ipaj

Replies (4) Good night (1108) Bad night (425)
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(613): View more from Ontario

We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.

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(613): We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got. http://tfl.nu/kddz

Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (338)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.

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(303): Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second. http://tfl.nu/m7me

Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (493)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay

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(919): it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay http://tfl.nu/gpt5

Replies (2) Good night (611) Bad night (335)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?

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(505): you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...? http://tfl.nu/tcmz

Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (355)

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