Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
