Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
