so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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