In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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