belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
