I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
