Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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