Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think a kid would responsible me up
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
