your room smells of hookers.
And success
what day is it and did you see me today?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
