the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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