I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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