I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
