Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
