It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
