You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
