Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
