i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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