quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
