i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
