last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
