At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
