not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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