i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He called his prostate his "boner button".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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