Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
