Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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