I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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