Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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