I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
