Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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