Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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