he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
