i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
