Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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