I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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