All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
