Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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