It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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