Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
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You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
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I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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