I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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