I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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