Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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