i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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