Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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