Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Send help, water and tortillas.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
