Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
