Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
