so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
