I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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