btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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