Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
