Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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