It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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