Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
