Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
BRING THE BAGELS
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
