I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
